1st draft: You don't have any cows. You settle for two piles of BS.
1st readthrough: You have two cows. Upon closer inspection, one is actually a bull. The other is a corpse.
Beta-reading/CPs: You have two cows. You show them to friends, who write treatises on how you can milk cows better. Now you want two bunnies instead.
|Why? Why not?|
Main characters: You have two cows. You torture them and squish them and talk to them.
Character development: You have two cows. You subvert tropes by painting stripes on one. The other cow evolves into a bunny.
Character deaths: You have two cows. One makes too much milk and is too happy. You kill it.
Line editing: You have two cows. You clean every inch of their hide. While you are cleaning their ears, you discover they are actually bunnies.
Querying: You have two cows. You take them to market and accidentally put them with the bunnies. While you wait for buyers, you make more cows.
Dead genres: You have two cows. There are too many cows for sale. People tell you to sell bunnies instead.
Poetry: You have two cows. One's eyes look like the other cow's eyes and maybe stars. Stars are always good.
We get it poets: things are like other things— shut up, mike (@shutupmikeginn) September 8, 2014
Blogging: You have two cows. You don't want to feed them, so you call up other cow owners and talk about how to feed cows. You gain lots of cow owner friends, but you still haven't sold your cows.
The actual writing life: You have two cows. You don't want to feed them, so you write a post about two cows and try to be funny.
- The Two Cows' Guide to Creative Writing (Click to Tweet)
- Writer @AlyssaC_HK describes the writing life with cows and humour. (Click to Tweet)
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