Wednesday, 20 May 2015

The Squirrel Theorem (Infographic)

Remember the teammates I introduced here? This post is dedicated towards our weird circle.

The other day, I was chatting with a bunch of science-oriented friends. Now, I don't mean to be arrogant, but I'd say we're at least in the top slice of our age in terms of science. I'm saying this because our conversation is very, very strange. After kicking around a pine cone, we discussed intensely on the implications of pine cones and ended up with the following points.

(Click on the infographic to open a larger version in a new tab.)
The Squirrel Theorem: science, pinecones, and general madness.

First infographic ever! What do you think? How crazy am I?


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Disclaimer: I think this is plenty obvious, but GUYS. Do not use this for homework or anything.

20 comments:

  1. Wow. As someone who spends a lot of time around pine trees, pine cones, and squirrels, I guess all I can give you is an A+. (It's funny though, because someone on our street stuck all the knots in one of our pine trees full of cones, and it was ridiculous. Maybe I've been blaming all the neighbor boys far too much!)

    Really, though. Lovely infographic. Now I want to have information so that I can make mine beautiful and show it to people. D:

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    1. Why, thank you very much. I should be interested in collecting your empirical data, and your first-hand information will be important to writing my thesis. (Oh wow, that is totally evidence for my findings. Much science. Much accurate.)

      I have another infographic forthcoming next month, and it's slightly saner and more useful, so I hope you enjoy that too!

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  2. OMG. This is absolutely hilarious - haha. Thanks for sharing this infographic Alyssa and for giving me a laugh!

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    1. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it, Zoe! The point of this blog, after all, is entertainment. (And murder, but we don't talk about that.)

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  3. This is hilarious! And it's a beautiful info graphic. I wish I had more sciencey friends (I have a sister,but I love science more.) How did you come to such a.... logical conclusion? You get to do science for your country? I'm jealous. I still have no idea what I want to do with my life after high school... because I'm in a minority that loves high school. There were little city squirrels where we used to life, but here we have monkeys. (You might think monkeys are 'naughty' and 'cute' but they're not. They're evil and terrifying)

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    1. I'm glad you found it amusing, and thank you very much! Science friends are the best, especially when doing fake science XD

      Oh well, Hong Kong's a rather small region, so you could say we have the advantage there. High school ... I've yet to enjoy it that much, but I look upon my then-hated elementary school years and realise I should have stayed 8 forever.

      There are occasionally squirrels near my school, and there are absolutely terrifying monkeys on some of our hills. TERRIFYING. Old people beat them with canes.

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  4. I am a science expert with a PhD and I believe your theory is very accurate. In fact, I suggest you write your thesis paper on this topic, as it will change the face of biology forever. I commend you for you and your friends' efforts for turning a new page in squirrel history!

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    1. The advice of such a vaunted expert must surely be taken seriously. I have commenced work on this paper and will be submitting it shortly to all major scientific journals. And maybe a few awards, too. May squirrel history last forever!

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  5. I can't decide if you're a weirdo or a genius. (And, yes, I mean both lovingly.)

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  6. Haha, this was so funny! *puts on spectacles* And it actually makes sense, though. Although I always thought it would be acorns, not pine cones. But still, you should publish this in scientific journal or something. The world needs to bask in your genius!

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    1. I'm glad I made you laugh. It DOES, though, which is the creepiest thing. Welp, we were walking down a path of pine cones, sooooo. *shrugs* I definitely will, and I'm sure they'll be delighted to accept this groundbreaking theorem.

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  7. I ALWAYS WONDERED. NOW I KNOW. And what a marvelous infographic! I always discuss perpetual motion with one of my friends. We have deduced that playground equipment (swings, roundabouts, seesaws etc) are the key to it all. You're a bit crazy, but that's great. Thanks for sharing the contents of your mind :)
    -Shanti

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    1. THE MORE YOU KNOW.

      I'm glad you enjoy the infographic! I'm not quite a physics expert, but that sounds great too. (And maybe a little crazy. Crazy is good.) That's what this blog is for, after all :)

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  8. MY LIFE IS A LIE, ALYSSA. Pine cones... do not grow on tress? Why haven't we learned this in school yet? I am baffled by the fact that they produce AND eat pine cones. That's very... morbid (blog title pun not intended). AND PANDAS ARE RED?

    I need to go along and rethink life now.

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    1. IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH. The squirrels want you to think they grow on trees. The squirrels gain strength from the sacrifice of their young. The squirrels have chosen this blog to be their messenger for that reason. The squirrels are watching you.

      You want to go home and rethink your life. (PLEASE tell me that was a Star Wars reference. I'll love you forever. I'll still love you otherwise, though.)

      P.S.: It's actually a homophone exploited ruthlessly here. The jokes are so stale by now.

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  9. Beautiful graphics, and I was laughing the whole way through! :)

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    1. Thank you! I'll be making more infographics in the future, so keep an eye out!

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  10. Bwahahah I love this! I am going to go sit at the park and wait for squirrels to hatch now, because I want to see nature in action. Also, I am going looking for pandas in camouflage. I'll be back as soon as I round a few up...

    Shannon @ It Starts At Midnight

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    1. I'm glad I made you laugh! Remember to take some photos, write it all down, and I'll include it in my Very Scientific Paper With Many Squirrel Breakthroughs. I'm sure the zoo will pay a hefty sum to exhibit those red pandas XD

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