Friday, 7 March 2014

The Phantom Menace: Comparison List

I actually liked the Star Wars prequels more than the originals. No, it's not solely because of the duels or the better CGI, but because there were fewer absolutes and more grey area, which George Lucas failed to explore.

That said, I hate The Phantom Menace with the fury of a thousand Sith Lords. The below lists were made by myself and a few other Star Wars fans during a particularly boring day.


WHY THE PHANTOM MENACE SUCKED
  1. Jar Jar Binks.
  2. By extension, all the Gungans.
  3. The underwater city and failed physics.
  4. The bizarre political system of Naboo.
  5. The sucky names.
  6. The podrace.
  7. Anakin is Speshul and Chosen One and lalala.
  8. Qui-Gon comms Obi-Wan at any time and Obi-Wan responds in <1 second.
  9. Obi-Wan's hairstyle.
  10. How Anakin won the space battle.
  11. Darth Maul's failure to knock Obi-Wan off the ledge.
  12. Obi-Wan getting blocked by the laser screen.
  13. The battle droids.
  14. The Gungan/droid battle.
  15. Shmi's willingness to give her son away. I mean, I bet she would've agreed if Palpatine beat Qui-Gon to it and told a few lies.
  16. The pointlessness of everything happening on Tatooine, all solved if Anakin had been at the Temple all along.
  17. No foreshadowing for the Separatists. Dooku wasn't even mentioned.
  18. The general idiocy of the Jedi Council members.
  19. The horrible Yoda.
  20. Anakin's whining.
  21. JAR JAR BINKS.
WHY THE PHANTOM MENACE WAS OKAY
  1. The music.
  2. The duel.
I'm not the only one sensing the disproportionateness, am I?

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