Wednesday, 6 November 2013

Test Season (Or, the Long List of Screw-ups)

Yay yay yay yay yay!!

(Now you're wondering why I'm 'yay'ing under the title 'Test Season'.)

Mainly because test season is over, or else I would still be buried in godforsaken physics or geography. Now it's the time for ... *drumroll please* tabulating the list of screw-ups!

(Why on earth am I being so dramatic over something that I said in the title?)

Anyways. Let's start the looooong list.
  1. Has a dictation that is a de facto test on the materials tested the next day. Hence draw lots of unwelcome attention from the next class, who is wondering why I'm studying so early. After all that, still flunks the test. (See last item.)
  2. Because there was a Chinese test on Thursday, fails to study adequately for Geography test on Friday until Thursday evening. Blames the school administration.
  3. Has a friend who: 
  4. Tries to get in some last-minute studying for history, and instead interprets the countries of World War I as different characters in Star Wars. (I might put this up sometime later.)
  5. Has only one minute left for checking during history test. Said minute is used for neatening the four full pages of words written in the past fifty-nine minutes, and checking that I have written my name legibly.
  6. Memorizes everything in the social studies worksheet. It is only useful for one fill-in-the-blank question. (This happened to a friend, not me.)
  7. Writes an 'essay' in the social studies worth six marks and three-fifths of a page long.
  8. Completely neglects math test, thinking there is nothing to study. On the day, is completely confused by fellow classmates' exercises and freaks out.
  9. Thinks that 2+4=5 in said math test.
  10. Tries to figure out the biology test syllabus. The teacher said 'everything we taught this year'. I'm not very sure what we taught this year. 
  11. Because of #10, ends up studying extraneous material. Lots and lots of it.
  12. Memorizes the entire biology syllabus (not word-for-word, although a couple of my classmates did). 1% of it comes in useful.
  13. (Again, this happened to a friend) Uses an incredibly difficult method to calculate a length in physics. There is no need at all to calculate it.
  14. Spends 50% of the science exam time on chemistry and divides the rest amongst biology and physics. Why? The teacher promised Starbucks coupons if we got more than 90%. I know, consumerism, right?
  15. Goes to golf training session instead of stuffing the Chinese History syllabus into my head. To be honest, I actually liked the golf session since it was one-on-one instead of group. Clearly, I was the only one insane enough to go with C. Hist looming ahead.
  16. Memorize Chinese place names in English, so things are called 'Dilute Water', 'Cow Farm', 'Green Duck River' and 'Tooth Hill'.
  17. Manages to think a war in 1895 was in 1875.
  18. Thinks someone who died in around 1820 led a revolution in 1870s.
  19. Spends one entire minute trying to interpret the instructions since I simply suck at Chinese.
  20. Is given two pages for writing a six-mark essay. Writes out everything I think of — and still has less than one page.
  21. After writing said essay, right hand is numb. So numb I couldn't write anything for five minutes and had to wait before editing previous wrong answers.
  22. Lets homework and projects fall by the wayside during test season. After tests are over, cannot relax. (Clearly, I'm procrastinating right now.)
  23. During lunch after the last common test is something called 'song dedication', wherein people give 'encouraging messages' and play horrid songs. One such message is: "Exams are nearly here ..." Geez, thanks.
  24. Fails to study for dictation on the day immediately following the last common test. I was very gratified to find out no one else revised. I won't be when I fail my dictation.
And, I think, the most shocking one of all ...

I got two parts of my Chinese paper back, both out of 30, receiving a profound C on one. I tried to calculate how much I'd need on my third part, which is also out of 30, to get an A.

30.5

See a slight problem with that?

Ah well. Hope you enjoyed my rant. Complaining time over, let's get to that homework I unceremoniously abandoned.

Related: A Student's Guide to Surviving Tests.

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